Episode with the Cat
I suppose my blogs are started because of my new baby girl. So many things have happened in my life that were worth sharing but I imagine having our first baby will completely turn our lives upside down. I'll just start my first blog with my cat.
We have a cream-colored Himalayan cat that I "adopted" about 6 years ago. She has never taken to my wife, Tracie, and remains suspicious of her even now. Buffy WAS the queen of the house. She slept wherever she wanted - on the sofa, at the end of my bed, on my favorite blanket, on my office chair, and even on my flatbed scanner during the hot summer months. That was then. This is now. When we got married moved into our new house, Buffy was banned from the bedroom and the sofa. The cat simply was shedding too much and was killing us by triggering our allergies. At first, I was not very supportive. I would let Buffy hop on the sofa beside me whenever Tracie wasn't around. She would hop off as soon as Tracie approached and glared at her from across the room. It was funny for awhile to witness episodes of "The Mrs vs. The Cat". But I realized I was sending mixed messages so she was completely banned from the sofa. Now, I won't even let her romp across the office desk in front of my computer monitor to get my attention. The clumps of fine cat hair flying around room, in the form of hair bunnies instead of dust bunnies, was just too much to take, and keeping her off the furniture was part of the discipline regiment. That started a little under 3 years ago.
ROUND 1: Needless to say, Buffy was not a happy camper. She still tries to sleep on the sofa whenever we're not around. We tried everything from putting aluminum foil on the cushions to spraying repellant on and around the sofa. It didn't phase her a bit. I sprayed her with water. That didn't help. I bought a "pet motion detector" and placed on on the cushions every night before we go to bed. The detector would emit a high-pitched sound when it is touched or moved. That helped for awhile but Buffy figured out that there were areas that she could sneak around the detector and make herself comfortable for the night. We knew this from the remains of cat hair and little grains of kitty litter where she laid. Ewwww!! We have resorted to putting magazines all over the arms and the back of the sofa to keep her from walking around the cushions. We arrange the pillows, comforter and throws into big piles on the cushions to keep Buffy from finding space to lie down. We put the motion detector in the remaining few inches of open space on one of the cushions. Every night, we still go through this routine. As of a few weeks ago, the motion detector has to be placed on top of the balled up comforter once we discovered that she has learned to tip-toe her way along the back of the sofa to lie down gently on the comforter to avoid triggering the motion sensor. The score is: Cat 1, Human 0 for now.
ROUND 2: For years, I simply put up with it. Anyone who has a cat knows about the infamous......fur balls. Yes, those lovely clumps of hair that a cat will eventually cough up after a few self-cleaning sessions. During the first couple of years, Buffy was pretty good about it. Whenever she felt the urge to let loose a fur ball, she would do it on the linoleum floor for easy cleaning. Somewhere along the line, she discovered the joy of watching me wipe up after her if she were to deposit the fur balls on the carpet. This usually happens after she has eaten a meal of Deli-cat which decorates the carpet horribly with red, yellow or orange stains. But just one spot won't do. She had to gag and gurgle her way for a few feet so that there would be a trail showing me EXACTLY where she started and where she ended up. That just takes away the mystery of figuring out who, what, where, why and how right out of the equation. The question of when is solved when I have to touch the stuff, by having the pleasure of discovering whether it's cold or warm, still wet and slimy or has it dried and caked up among the carpet fibers. Double Ewwwww!!!! By the way, OxiClean works wonders on carpet stains such as these, much better than Resolve or other carpet cleaners. Cat: 2, Human: still 0.
ROUND 3: As if hair and fur balls were not enough to delight and entertain me, Buffy decided that she would grace my entire house with grains of kitty litter and then some, if you know what I mean. Let's just call them fallen Klingons, to borrow a name from Star Trek. Several months ago, we started noticing that we had to sweep the floor more and more often to get rid of the litter grains. We noticed that Buffy was going to the litter box pretty often and had a great time scratching the litter. At first, I thought she was just struggling to cover up her "stuff" after she was done. But then I noticed that she was actually shredding the plastic liner along the edges of the litter box. She was playing. Triple Ewwwww!!! Afterward, she would scurry out of the covered litter box and scattering the litter behind her in a savage trail from the laundry room through the hallway, into the foyer up the stairs, into the office, down the stairs, across the foyer again and into the family room. It was quickly becoming my personal Trail of Tears. Tracie was not a happy wifey, and I was getting frustrated. I took Buffy to the vet to see if there was something wrong with her. Nothing except for racking up $250 in vaccination and examination fees. I decided to buy one of those self-cleaning litter boxes thinking that it would get rid of the plastic liners that she loved so much and keep me from having to scoop the box so often. Hallelujah!!!! Buffy stopped playing in the litter box, and the floor was clean........for exactly 2 days. The self-cleaning litter box has a pretty loud motor that pulls a belt, which drags the sweeper across the litter. The sweeper would sweep clumps of litter into a catch basin at one end of the tray and then return to its resting position several seconds later. The self-cleaner has a motion sensor that activates a timer to start the cleaning process 10 minutes after the cat leaves the box. As it turns out, Buffy is fascinated by this contraption. She never fails to return to the box to investigate the noise, at which time she HAD to use the litter box again. About every 15 minutes of every day, we hear "EhhhhhhhEhhhhhhEhhhhhhh..." as the motor grinds to a start and dragging the sweeper across the box. It was driving us insane. We decided to close the door to the laundry room whenever Buffy is done using the box to give it a chance to clean itself without Buffy returning immediately to play and torture us. Wrong!!! She would start meowing incessantly outside the laundry room or wherever she ended up hiding after I had chased her away. I'm just about ready to cry about now. The score: Cat 3, Human 0.
A couple of times before, I took the advices of friends and had Buffy shaved to control the tangles in her hair and the problem with fur balls. Long-hair cats have to be brushed at least once a day, and I just couldn't keep up. There were weeks when I had to go away on business trips for days only to come home to find Buffy looking like a Jamaican reggae band member. She had dreadlocks in some unmentionable spots that had to be cut out, not just brushed out. The only solution was to have her shaved with a lion's cut because cats could not simply be trimmed the way dogs could. But I just didn't have the heart to have her shaved often because she always looked like an abused Q-tip afterward. It was rather sad to see her mope around for a couple of months with a big head trimmed like a lion's mane, a pink-skinned popsicle stick for a body, 4 legs wearing thick furry boots and a fluffy tail that just seemed enormous compared to her body.
But the thought occurred to me a few weeks ago that I might be able to solve the kitty litter issue, the hair bunnies, and fur balls in one fell swoop by having her shaved again. Off to the groomer she went. She came home half a day later with a lion's cut. They did a good job. She smelled clean, had her nails trimmed and had her tail shaven enough to stop overwhelming the rest of her. The litter problem has been reduced to something manageable. The fur balls have been virtually eliminated somewhat. I haven't quite figured out what to do about the self-cleaning litter box but I'll take any victory I can get for now. The score: Cat 3, Human 1.
We have a cream-colored Himalayan cat that I "adopted" about 6 years ago. She has never taken to my wife, Tracie, and remains suspicious of her even now. Buffy WAS the queen of the house. She slept wherever she wanted - on the sofa, at the end of my bed, on my favorite blanket, on my office chair, and even on my flatbed scanner during the hot summer months. That was then. This is now. When we got married moved into our new house, Buffy was banned from the bedroom and the sofa. The cat simply was shedding too much and was killing us by triggering our allergies. At first, I was not very supportive. I would let Buffy hop on the sofa beside me whenever Tracie wasn't around. She would hop off as soon as Tracie approached and glared at her from across the room. It was funny for awhile to witness episodes of "The Mrs vs. The Cat". But I realized I was sending mixed messages so she was completely banned from the sofa. Now, I won't even let her romp across the office desk in front of my computer monitor to get my attention. The clumps of fine cat hair flying around room, in the form of hair bunnies instead of dust bunnies, was just too much to take, and keeping her off the furniture was part of the discipline regiment. That started a little under 3 years ago.
ROUND 1: Needless to say, Buffy was not a happy camper. She still tries to sleep on the sofa whenever we're not around. We tried everything from putting aluminum foil on the cushions to spraying repellant on and around the sofa. It didn't phase her a bit. I sprayed her with water. That didn't help. I bought a "pet motion detector" and placed on on the cushions every night before we go to bed. The detector would emit a high-pitched sound when it is touched or moved. That helped for awhile but Buffy figured out that there were areas that she could sneak around the detector and make herself comfortable for the night. We knew this from the remains of cat hair and little grains of kitty litter where she laid. Ewwww!! We have resorted to putting magazines all over the arms and the back of the sofa to keep her from walking around the cushions. We arrange the pillows, comforter and throws into big piles on the cushions to keep Buffy from finding space to lie down. We put the motion detector in the remaining few inches of open space on one of the cushions. Every night, we still go through this routine. As of a few weeks ago, the motion detector has to be placed on top of the balled up comforter once we discovered that she has learned to tip-toe her way along the back of the sofa to lie down gently on the comforter to avoid triggering the motion sensor. The score is: Cat 1, Human 0 for now.
ROUND 2: For years, I simply put up with it. Anyone who has a cat knows about the infamous......fur balls. Yes, those lovely clumps of hair that a cat will eventually cough up after a few self-cleaning sessions. During the first couple of years, Buffy was pretty good about it. Whenever she felt the urge to let loose a fur ball, she would do it on the linoleum floor for easy cleaning. Somewhere along the line, she discovered the joy of watching me wipe up after her if she were to deposit the fur balls on the carpet. This usually happens after she has eaten a meal of Deli-cat which decorates the carpet horribly with red, yellow or orange stains. But just one spot won't do. She had to gag and gurgle her way for a few feet so that there would be a trail showing me EXACTLY where she started and where she ended up. That just takes away the mystery of figuring out who, what, where, why and how right out of the equation. The question of when is solved when I have to touch the stuff, by having the pleasure of discovering whether it's cold or warm, still wet and slimy or has it dried and caked up among the carpet fibers. Double Ewwwww!!!! By the way, OxiClean works wonders on carpet stains such as these, much better than Resolve or other carpet cleaners. Cat: 2, Human: still 0.
ROUND 3: As if hair and fur balls were not enough to delight and entertain me, Buffy decided that she would grace my entire house with grains of kitty litter and then some, if you know what I mean. Let's just call them fallen Klingons, to borrow a name from Star Trek. Several months ago, we started noticing that we had to sweep the floor more and more often to get rid of the litter grains. We noticed that Buffy was going to the litter box pretty often and had a great time scratching the litter. At first, I thought she was just struggling to cover up her "stuff" after she was done. But then I noticed that she was actually shredding the plastic liner along the edges of the litter box. She was playing. Triple Ewwwww!!! Afterward, she would scurry out of the covered litter box and scattering the litter behind her in a savage trail from the laundry room through the hallway, into the foyer up the stairs, into the office, down the stairs, across the foyer again and into the family room. It was quickly becoming my personal Trail of Tears. Tracie was not a happy wifey, and I was getting frustrated. I took Buffy to the vet to see if there was something wrong with her. Nothing except for racking up $250 in vaccination and examination fees. I decided to buy one of those self-cleaning litter boxes thinking that it would get rid of the plastic liners that she loved so much and keep me from having to scoop the box so often. Hallelujah!!!! Buffy stopped playing in the litter box, and the floor was clean........for exactly 2 days. The self-cleaning litter box has a pretty loud motor that pulls a belt, which drags the sweeper across the litter. The sweeper would sweep clumps of litter into a catch basin at one end of the tray and then return to its resting position several seconds later. The self-cleaner has a motion sensor that activates a timer to start the cleaning process 10 minutes after the cat leaves the box. As it turns out, Buffy is fascinated by this contraption. She never fails to return to the box to investigate the noise, at which time she HAD to use the litter box again. About every 15 minutes of every day, we hear "EhhhhhhhEhhhhhhEhhhhhhh..." as the motor grinds to a start and dragging the sweeper across the box. It was driving us insane. We decided to close the door to the laundry room whenever Buffy is done using the box to give it a chance to clean itself without Buffy returning immediately to play and torture us. Wrong!!! She would start meowing incessantly outside the laundry room or wherever she ended up hiding after I had chased her away. I'm just about ready to cry about now. The score: Cat 3, Human 0.
A couple of times before, I took the advices of friends and had Buffy shaved to control the tangles in her hair and the problem with fur balls. Long-hair cats have to be brushed at least once a day, and I just couldn't keep up. There were weeks when I had to go away on business trips for days only to come home to find Buffy looking like a Jamaican reggae band member. She had dreadlocks in some unmentionable spots that had to be cut out, not just brushed out. The only solution was to have her shaved with a lion's cut because cats could not simply be trimmed the way dogs could. But I just didn't have the heart to have her shaved often because she always looked like an abused Q-tip afterward. It was rather sad to see her mope around for a couple of months with a big head trimmed like a lion's mane, a pink-skinned popsicle stick for a body, 4 legs wearing thick furry boots and a fluffy tail that just seemed enormous compared to her body.
But the thought occurred to me a few weeks ago that I might be able to solve the kitty litter issue, the hair bunnies, and fur balls in one fell swoop by having her shaved again. Off to the groomer she went. She came home half a day later with a lion's cut. They did a good job. She smelled clean, had her nails trimmed and had her tail shaven enough to stop overwhelming the rest of her. The litter problem has been reduced to something manageable. The fur balls have been virtually eliminated somewhat. I haven't quite figured out what to do about the self-cleaning litter box but I'll take any victory I can get for now. The score: Cat 3, Human 1.
posted by DaddyEyeduck at 3:30 PM
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