It's the Cheesiest

One day soon, I will have to head to Home Depot to buy some wood to build a doghouse although I don't have a dog. Tracie will be putting me in there soon. I never said I know what I am doing a new father. I just go with whatever seems to be the thing to do at the time.

Today was a gorgeous day with beautiful blue sky and a nice soft breeze. We decided to go for a big breakfast at IHOP so, naturally, we're still fairly full by lunchtime. Tracie decided to head to the grocery store and leave me at home with babysitting duty. Soon, it was 1:30 pm and I was STARVING!! I picked up the baby and went to the refrigerator looking for something to eat. There was nothing there to eat. We then perused the pantry for food. I was STAAAARVING!! There was hardly anything in the pantry either except a large bag of Cheetos. BINGO!! I could snack on some of this stuff until we had an early dinner. And the baby liked cheese, so this should work out just fine. In anticipation of Sydney grabbing a few Cheetos herself, I grabbed a couple of paper towels and wet them just to be on the safe side. Sydney and I settled on the comforter spread out on the floor inside the playyard just in front of the TV. One for me, one for Sydney. Two for me, one for Sydney. Three for me, one more for Sydney. She LOVED Cheetos, as it turned out. She nibbled on one after another. After every few morsels, I was careful to clean her face and hands to avoid leaving evidence behind. We were having a great time, watching TV and munching as she sat on my laps and eyeing the bag of Cheetos. She was making sure she was getting her share of the loot as if we were two pirates after a good day. We were bonding, father and daughter through a bag of Cheetos.

Next thing I knew, we finished half the bag. Her hands were a beaufiful shade of orange from the Cheetos. But so was her mouth ... and her shirt ... and the comforter ... and her pants ... and GASP!! my pants. I looked around for the papertowels. They were also completely orange. I wasn't paying attention close enough to the time and the cleanup. She had been wiping her hands all over everything while my eyes were glued to the TV. So I left the baby in the playyard and hurdled the enclosure in a frantic attempt to clean up the evidence before "you know who" got home. I ditched the bag of Cheetos in the back of the pantry. I grabbed two more papertowels, but it was too late. There was a loud rumble of the garage door opening and the SUV pulling into the garage. I was busted. I was going to get caught feeding the baby junk food. My mind was racing with excuses: "But Cheetos has all the essential food groups!!" or "I only gave her ONE tiny little bite!!" or "SHE MADE ME DO IT!!" with perhaps a hint of remorse.

I leapt over the enclosure again just as the door opened. I made a quick swipe of the baby's face to get rid of the obvious sign of my 13-month old gorging herself over several handfuls of Cheetos. Tracie rounded the corner and went straight for the baby. She picked her up and headed upstairs to change the baby with me following closely behind. Without a word, Tracie changed the baby while I hovered nervously. She finally said: "I wonder why her fingers are orange. Hmmmmmm."

Yup. I was busted. And so I mustered weakly: "Those darn Cheetos are just the cheesiest, aren't they? I guess I'll be going to Home Depot now."

Tracie gave me one of those "you're in BIGGGGG trouble, mister" looks.

I wonder how big of a dog house I should build.

Ascending To the Top

So Sydney can slide down the bed. She can even slide down the stairs, much to the chargrin of Tracie that I let Sydney do it under my supervision. But can she climb? It's just so happened that one of Sydney's favorite activities, when Mom is not around, is to climb the stairs. Just today, we went through our routine to get in a bit of exercise.

First, we checked to make sure the coast is clear. Sydney went to the door and peeked outside. Good, no one was watching especially Mom. I thought it was cute how she would stand on her toes most of the time. Tracie said it was not good for her. I don't know why Sydney does it but I don't really see the harm in it. Perhaps she was a ballerina is her past life.


Then we went to the couch to get a little warm up time in before tackling the main event. One leg up and push. And now the other leg, and push. One more set of leg raises and off we went to the stairs.


She was getting pretty good at it. Sydney could scoot up the stairs lickety split. Within seconds, she was almost half way up the stairs. She even turned around to make sure I was not far behind before continuing her journey. She looked almost as if she was saying: "C'mon, Dad, what's the hold up?" as I was snapping away on my digital camera a few steps behind.


Next thing I knew, she was half way up the stairs making her turn on all fours and smiling at me at her accomplishment. She was ready for the second half.


Once at the top of the stairs, she would go through her customary routine of kneeling and clapping her hands in celebration. Then she waited for me to catch up to give her a victory kiss before she slid down the stairs before Tracie found out what we did. Shhhhhh. It was our little secret adventure.

Sydney, Unleashed

Ackkk!! I think I've created a monster. Sydney has learned to crawl off the bed. Every night, it's the same routine before going to bed. She likes to crawl over me to get to the edge of the bed. She would then hang her head over the edge to check out the floor below and then...[beep, beep, beep] the truck goes into reverse. She would back her little rear end toward the edge of the mattress, stick one leg over the side to get a feel for the height, then slide the other leg over...and ZIP!! down to the carpet she goes.

There goes my little nightcrawler. She hovers by the side of the bed for a few minutes, playing with the bedskirt and pulling on the loose threads. She would stare at her hands in the dark to see if she had managed to work any of the threads completely loose. In the dimly lit room with only a night light to show her the way, she then would drop to all four and crawl toward the little wicker basket next to her changing tables. The basket is full of little bottles of lotion, cream, shampoo, and whatever else Tracie uses on the baby. It's Sydney's favorite "toy chest." Every night, she goes to the basket to pull out one item at a time to throw on the floor. She usually does not stop until she finds her comb with the soft rubber handle. It's her favorite "toy". Then she would find her way to the dresser to clang the metal handles for a few minutes. She would then turn to the humidifier to see if she could change the setting or turn the fan on. Once that was unsuccessful, she would turn her attention to the chaise. She has discovered how to slide off the chaise not she is not quite tall enough to climb back on. Yet she tries, almost every night. Last but not least, she would return to the side of the bed and call to me to pick her up to get her back on the bed. A few minutes later, we would start the whole routine over again once she is bored with being on the bed with two exhausted parents.

How did we get to this? It's totally my fault. I am one of those idiotically doting parents who thinks everything his child does is cute. I remember a couple of weeks ago telling Tracie: "Look, look, look. Look how smart Sydney!" as I was able to unveil her latest trick. She had just discovered how to slide off the bed safely with me clinding tightly to the back of her shirt. I was just tickled that she learned to slide backward off the bed. Tracie was not so thrilled. She told me: "You better hope she never slides off the bed by herself and crack her skull against the siderail." I just laughed it off. Sydney is, afterall, ultra-smart and would do no such thing.

So each night, I beamed as Sydney crawled over me to go sliding off the bed. After a week of this, it got old. But she was unstoppable. She would not go to sleep if she didn't get a chance to work off some extra energy. Now I'm paying the price. Tracie would not look after her after Sydney has begun her excursion into the darkness. She has totally been unleashed. And I was stuck waiting it out until she was ready to get back into bed for the last time to fall asleep.

Have I tried to put her into the crib to work off her energy and to fall asleep by herself? Oh yes!! I've tried. It went over like a rock each night. She might go as far as lying there looking and touching everything. Once she was bored, she would spring up like a shot and start shaking the railing of the crib like a prisoner trying to shake the bars loose. Then the high pitch wailing would start along with the streams of tears. That is one thing she is very, very good at. The tears can come at will. My little drama queen!! Last night, we managed to rock her to sleep and let her sleep in the crib for the first time in a while. She slept until about 4:30 am before getting up to cry for us. I couldn't get her to fall asleep again so I took her to our bed. She curled up against me and finally went back to sleep. I have to admit I kinda miss having the little booger sleeping next to me. At some point, I guess I better let sleep the entire night in the crib and get used to it.

But then again, how would she be able to crawl around the room at night in the darkness? I dread the day she figures out how to get out of the crib.