It's the Cheesiest
One day soon, I will have to head to Home Depot to buy some wood to build a doghouse although I don't have a dog. Tracie will be putting me in there soon. I never said I know what I am doing a new father. I just go with whatever seems to be the thing to do at the time.
Today was a gorgeous day with beautiful blue sky and a nice soft breeze. We decided to go for a big breakfast at IHOP so, naturally, we're still fairly full by lunchtime. Tracie decided to head to the grocery store and leave me at home with babysitting duty. Soon, it was 1:30 pm and I was STARVING!! I picked up the baby and went to the refrigerator looking for something to eat. There was nothing there to eat. We then perused the pantry for food. I was STAAAARVING!! There was hardly anything in the pantry either except a large bag of Cheetos. BINGO!! I could snack on some of this stuff until we had an early dinner. And the baby liked cheese, so this should work out just fine. In anticipation of Sydney grabbing a few Cheetos herself, I grabbed a couple of paper towels and wet them just to be on the safe side. Sydney and I settled on the comforter spread out on the floor inside the playyard just in front of the TV. One for me, one for Sydney. Two for me, one for Sydney. Three for me, one more for Sydney. She LOVED Cheetos, as it turned out. She nibbled on one after another. After every few morsels, I was careful to clean her face and hands to avoid leaving evidence behind. We were having a great time, watching TV and munching as she sat on my laps and eyeing the bag of Cheetos. She was making sure she was getting her share of the loot as if we were two pirates after a good day. We were bonding, father and daughter through a bag of Cheetos.
Next thing I knew, we finished half the bag. Her hands were a beaufiful shade of orange from the Cheetos. But so was her mouth ... and her shirt ... and the comforter ... and her pants ... and GASP!! my pants. I looked around for the papertowels. They were also completely orange. I wasn't paying attention close enough to the time and the cleanup. She had been wiping her hands all over everything while my eyes were glued to the TV. So I left the baby in the playyard and hurdled the enclosure in a frantic attempt to clean up the evidence before "you know who" got home. I ditched the bag of Cheetos in the back of the pantry. I grabbed two more papertowels, but it was too late. There was a loud rumble of the garage door opening and the SUV pulling into the garage. I was busted. I was going to get caught feeding the baby junk food. My mind was racing with excuses: "But Cheetos has all the essential food groups!!" or "I only gave her ONE tiny little bite!!" or "SHE MADE ME DO IT!!" with perhaps a hint of remorse.
I leapt over the enclosure again just as the door opened. I made a quick swipe of the baby's face to get rid of the obvious sign of my 13-month old gorging herself over several handfuls of Cheetos. Tracie rounded the corner and went straight for the baby. She picked her up and headed upstairs to change the baby with me following closely behind. Without a word, Tracie changed the baby while I hovered nervously. She finally said: "I wonder why her fingers are orange. Hmmmmmm."
Yup. I was busted. And so I mustered weakly: "Those darn Cheetos are just the cheesiest, aren't they? I guess I'll be going to Home Depot now."
Tracie gave me one of those "you're in BIGGGGG trouble, mister" looks.
I wonder how big of a dog house I should build.
Today was a gorgeous day with beautiful blue sky and a nice soft breeze. We decided to go for a big breakfast at IHOP so, naturally, we're still fairly full by lunchtime. Tracie decided to head to the grocery store and leave me at home with babysitting duty. Soon, it was 1:30 pm and I was STARVING!! I picked up the baby and went to the refrigerator looking for something to eat. There was nothing there to eat. We then perused the pantry for food. I was STAAAARVING!! There was hardly anything in the pantry either except a large bag of Cheetos. BINGO!! I could snack on some of this stuff until we had an early dinner. And the baby liked cheese, so this should work out just fine. In anticipation of Sydney grabbing a few Cheetos herself, I grabbed a couple of paper towels and wet them just to be on the safe side. Sydney and I settled on the comforter spread out on the floor inside the playyard just in front of the TV. One for me, one for Sydney. Two for me, one for Sydney. Three for me, one more for Sydney. She LOVED Cheetos, as it turned out. She nibbled on one after another. After every few morsels, I was careful to clean her face and hands to avoid leaving evidence behind. We were having a great time, watching TV and munching as she sat on my laps and eyeing the bag of Cheetos. She was making sure she was getting her share of the loot as if we were two pirates after a good day. We were bonding, father and daughter through a bag of Cheetos.
Next thing I knew, we finished half the bag. Her hands were a beaufiful shade of orange from the Cheetos. But so was her mouth ... and her shirt ... and the comforter ... and her pants ... and GASP!! my pants. I looked around for the papertowels. They were also completely orange. I wasn't paying attention close enough to the time and the cleanup. She had been wiping her hands all over everything while my eyes were glued to the TV. So I left the baby in the playyard and hurdled the enclosure in a frantic attempt to clean up the evidence before "you know who" got home. I ditched the bag of Cheetos in the back of the pantry. I grabbed two more papertowels, but it was too late. There was a loud rumble of the garage door opening and the SUV pulling into the garage. I was busted. I was going to get caught feeding the baby junk food. My mind was racing with excuses: "But Cheetos has all the essential food groups!!" or "I only gave her ONE tiny little bite!!" or "SHE MADE ME DO IT!!" with perhaps a hint of remorse.
I leapt over the enclosure again just as the door opened. I made a quick swipe of the baby's face to get rid of the obvious sign of my 13-month old gorging herself over several handfuls of Cheetos. Tracie rounded the corner and went straight for the baby. She picked her up and headed upstairs to change the baby with me following closely behind. Without a word, Tracie changed the baby while I hovered nervously. She finally said: "I wonder why her fingers are orange. Hmmmmmm."
Yup. I was busted. And so I mustered weakly: "Those darn Cheetos are just the cheesiest, aren't they? I guess I'll be going to Home Depot now."
Tracie gave me one of those "you're in BIGGGGG trouble, mister" looks.
I wonder how big of a dog house I should build.
posted by DaddyEyeduck at 7:36 PM
2 Comments:
hee hee hee! at least you waited this long....I think that Hayley had Doritos long before that....talking about orange! just think of it as introducing her to all of the foods out there - it's a good thing!
Ummm, hello, it's June already! where's an update???? :)
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