Scene from "A Few Good Teeth (Men)"

DAD: "You want answers?"

SYDNEY: "I think I'm entitled to them."

DAD: "You want answers?"

SYDNEY: "I DON'T WANT THE TOOTH!!"

DAD: "You CAN handle the TOOTH! Baby, we live in a world that has solid foods. And those solid foods have to be eaten by babies with teeth. Who's gonna do it? You? Mommy and I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for baby bottles and you curse the sweet potatoes. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that baby food, while tasting quite gross, probably is good for you. And the existence of baby food, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, is good for you...You want the TOOTH. Because deep down, in places you don't talk about at the daycare center, you WANT me to give you solid food. You NEED me to give you solid food. We use words like puree, mashed, ground...we use these words as the backbone to a life spent raising someone. You use 'em as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a baby who eats and burps under the staple of the very food I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide it! I'd rather you just said thank you and went on your way to the changing table. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a spoon and eat a jar. Either way, I don't give a darn what you think you're entitled to!"

SYDNEY: "Dad, did you order the Code Red??"

DAD: "You're dang right I ordered the Code Red!! It's about time you have teeth!!"


And, as if on cue, Sydney had teeth just as the pediatrician predicted at around 7 months of age. Actually, one tooth and one on the way. Nature was on my side. No wonder she's been gnawing on everything. Sydney doesn't seem to mind Code Red, although I'm sure her red gum could use a little soothing.

It is an odd feeling to be sitting in a hotel and blogging about Sydney. This is the farthest I've been away from my family since Sydney was born almost 7 months ago. Because of a business trip, I'm in Lyon, FRANCE, which is about 4500 miles from Atlanta. I miss my family already. Sydney is teething and becoming increasingly restless. Her first tooth showed up around 2 weeks ago. It's just a cute little white bump on her lower gum. I can feel the sharp edges when she grabs my thumb and bites it. The second tooth is coming along. It is starting to push through. Tracie bought some liquid-filled teething rings for Sydney and placed them in the freezer. We figured the coldness would ease the pain. But it doesn't seem like she's in much pain. She's just irritable. She wants to be held a lot and doesn't want anyone else to hold her other than Mommy and Daddy. I hope she isn't morphing into this annoyingly shy little girl who spends most of her time in public hiding behind mommy's legs or hiding her face against our chests. That would just not be the rambunctious Sydney I'm used to seeing.

Anyway, Sydney terrorizes anything around her with a tag. We gave her a toy donkey with a rattle on leg, a shatter-proof mirror on another leg, a rubber ring on the third leg and a noise-maker on the fourth leg. She explored it, touched this and that, and then spun the thing around to shove the manufacturer's tag into her mouth. She sucked on it and gnawed on it and pulled on it as if it was the most delicious lollipop on earth. Seeing how much she enjoyed the "toy" in her crib, we left her alone and draped a blanket on her. She started to kick the blanket off until she noticed the manufacturer's tag near the corner of the blanket. The toy donkey was abandoned for the tag on the blanket. Eventually, we discovered every tag of every item within Sydney's reach was slopping wet. It reminded me of our cat. No matter what toy I had bought for Buffy, her favorite toy remained the plastic ring from the milk jugs.

The only other thing that Sydney enjoys putting in her mouth is the pacifier. The daycare center gave her a couple of the Gerber NUK pacifiers. When we put her down to sleep, she would pitch a fit unless the pacifier is in place. With her teething, though, it was more than just a sucking device. She would grab the ring and pull the pacifier out of her mouth hard while her gums were firmly clamped on the rubber tip. It was a brutal exercise to watch. It makes a very loud noise, especially at night when everything was quiet. She then would fumble with the pacifier to put it back in her mouth to do it all over again and again until she was tired or bored. This has been going on for about a month. I'm surprised at how durable the pacifier is.

When she was sick a couple of weeks ago, she was frustrated that she couldn't breathe well enough to torture the pacifier and her chew tags. She is all better now. Her nose is still runny a bit but no more fever or coughing. At the check-up last week, her upper respiratory tract infection was gone. She weighed in at 15 lbs and 5 ozs. She was healthy enough to scream at the top of her lungs at the sight of the pediatrician, as Tracie reported. She pitched such a fit that she was hoarse and was totally exhausted when I came home that evening. It didn't help that it was decided that she should get her flu shot early. That was definitely NOT the answer to calming down a screaming baby. At least it is over now. She is immunized for the season.

Well, this blog is long enough. This is Daddy Eyeduck signing off from Lyon. A few quick words about the hotel. It is annoyingly cute, like many things in France. HAW, HAW, HAW ... OUI, OUI!!! The rooms are in a separate building from the main lobby. The rooms are small, as usual, and are contemporarily decorated. The lampshades have a shiny aluminum finish, which makes them look like upside down buckets. A small plasma TV is mounted in the corner of my room. Everything is compact. I basically have to maneuver my way around the bed and furniture to get around. The most annoying part of the room design is the toilet is in a small room next to the door but there's no way to get to the sink to wash my hands afterward without walking all the way around the bed to get to the bathroom. What's up with that? The driveway is made of gravel. Dragging the big ol' suitcase across the driveway to the room was not much fun. Neither was going up the stairs as there was not an elevator in sight. Other than that, I like this place. I'll be here for 3 days and will head back to Paris to spend one night before flying home. I can't wait to get home to the wife and kid to rehearse the next scene.